With cinema’s greatest action heroes going toe-to-toe in The Expendables 2 this week, the powers that be decided it would be a good time to launch the trailers of two action movies starring the two biggest stars of them all last night.
Bullet to the Head is an ‘80s action throwback that stars Sylvester Stallone, while The Last Stand is an '80s action throwback that stars Arnold Schwarzenegger.
So with these two long-time rivals going head-to-head, we thought we’d pit their trailers against each other in a winner-takes-all deathmatch. So read on to find out if Sly or Arnie comes out the other side victorious.
THE PLOT
Bullet to the Head
Sylvester Stallone stars as a New Orleans hit-man who teams up with a New York City cop to bring down the killers of their respective partners.
The Last Stand
Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a small-town sheriff who is forced to put his life on the line when a drug-lord enters his jurisdiction while making a break for the border.
THE ACTION
Bullet to the Head
The trailer kicks off with a near-naked Stallone – save for a pair of boxer shorts – kicking the proverbial out of someone poor unfortunate soul in what looks like a bath-house. There follows several montages of quick-fire punch-ups and bodies falling from tall buildings alongside shots of cars blowing up. Lots of shots of cars blowing up.
The Last Stand
Arnie’s film kicks off with a spectacular car stunt involving lots of guns and bullets and continues in this vein, with The Last Stand clearly featuring more than its fair share of car chases, including one involving a school bus. Schwarzenegger himself gets thrown through a door before putting the beat down on one of the baddies, and it concludes with the money shot – Arnie firing a shotgun with purpose, Terminator-style.
THE DIALOGUE
Bullet to the Head
Stallone does tough: “You know who I am? A problem solver. I take out the trash.”
Stallone does racist: “What are you going to do – bring out some kung fu from the homeland?”
Stallone makes a threat: “I swear to you when I get this guy, it’s going to be bad.”
Stallone does funny: “Are we gonna fight, or are you planning on boring me to death?”
The Last Stand
Schwarzenegger gets it wrong: “It’s my day off – should be a quiet weekend.”
Schwarzenegger does serious: “I’ve seen enough blood and death – I know what’s coming.”
Schwarzenegger makes a threat: I’m not going to let that guy come through our town without a fight.”
Schwarzenegger does funny: “How are you sheriff?” “Old!”
THE CO-STARS
Bullet to the Head
Christian Slater, looking like he’s about to get a bullet to the head.
The Last Stand
Johnny Knoxville, looking like he’s channelling his character from The Ringer.
THE STARS
Bullet to the Head
Stallone is looking as tough as he’s ever been in Bullet to the Head, cracking bones and gags with the effortlessness of an experienced pro. Judging from the top-less brawl he’s still in good shape, while the tag-line reads ‘Revenge never gets old,' and from this trailer it appears that neither does Sly.
The Last Stand
Schwarzenegger is looking a little creaky in this one, although that might be because the trailer plays upon his aging sheriff enjoying the quiet life in a small town. That said, once he gets that murderous look in his eye and starts shooting the place up to protect his patch, it’s a bullet-ridden joy to behold.
THE WINNER
Got to be Bullet to the Head, with Sly’s vengeful hit-man narrowly defeating Arnie’s aging law-man on the anticipation front. But that’s just our opinion - let us know in the poll below which trailer you like best, and look out for The Last Stand in cinemas next January and Bullet in Feb.
Chris Tilly is the Entertainment Editor for IGN and hopes Arnie doesn't read. His idle chit-chat can be found on both Twitter and MyIGN.
Source : ign[dot]com
