Tuesday 24 September 2013

Wrestling Wrap Up: The Shield vs. Everyone!

So as it turns out, not only has Cena being gone meant great things for Daniel Bryan (he's now the... locker room leader? Wowzers), but great things for fair-to-middlin' players like Zack Ryder, R-Truth, PTP, and The Usos. All of whom got to be in the bizarre "everyone vs. The Shield" match on last night's RAW.

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Oh, the match was great, don't get me wrong. And Rollins went the extra mile and turned inside out after Bryan's TKTTOC ("The Knee That Took Out, Cena!"), but I'm still wholly puzzled by the entire Triple H/Stephanie McMahon faction.

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And too bad the Emmys already handed out their trophies on Sunday, because I definitely heard Steph tell Zack Ryder that he could be the face of the WWE. With a straight face. That's straight Streepin' right there.

Cole tried very hard, during the main event, to put forth the idea that Triple H was diverting attention away from himself and redirecting anger at The Shield, but that s***'s a bit to subtle for wrestling. I mean, a month ago Hunter was ordering The Shield to take Daniel Bryan out and now he's acting like they've been their own entity all along. Plus, he just goes back and forth, from segment to segment in fact, between face and heel. But I think I've cracked the code. I think I've made the pieces fit. When he's heel, he comes out to "Bow Down to the King," and when he's babyface it's "Time to Play the Game." Perhaps that'll help clue us in on which Hunter we're about to get.

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So RAWs and Smackdowns have been very jumbled from a character-motivation standpoint. I hope all of this has to do with the Triple H DVD set that they keep advertising (and showing wedding clips from) and that once the dust settles with that, he'll revert back to being heel. Or, in the very least, they'll reveal the true heel behind all the chicanery. Vince will come back at some point and he'll either be the bastard behind the fast count, or the "savior" who's ready to take back the company. It's hard to say. Until then, the announcers will just keep saying things like "Is there any family crazier than the McMahons?" to explain away all the choppy writing and character shifts.

It's also weird to me whenever Hunter starts up with his semi-shoot/meta-kayf posturing and holds guys accountable for things out of their control. Because WWE wrestlers can get a little shoot-y in promos. Like all the insults Daniel Bryan hurled at Cena over the summer. But the one thing they still have to pretend is real is the winning and losing part. And so guys who lose all the time are berated for losing all the time. Their jobber-status is actually turned into a storyline where Triple H can actively call them out for being failures who've never stepped up. This always feels off. It's like when Hunter used to mock guys who were stuck with silly gimmicks, as if it was their choice to not be a badass and to have to dress like an idiot.

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Essentially, it's guys who've been buried being told, "When are you going to step up and be a man?" Whatever. I know it's just TV and that, in the very least, it gets the guys on TV, but it always seems to be Hunter doing this. A guy whose gimmick is now to carry a sledge hammer and be the "King of Kings." Granted, he himself managed to escape the trappings of an early, costumed gimmick. Perhaps that's why he's so hard on everyone else. Still, him and Steph asking R-Truth, "When's the last time you've had a championship match?" feels harsh. Especially when Steph's title graphic on TV clearly reads "Executive VP, Creative." CREATIVE! Stick that in your bong and bubble it. Might as just well read "Head Writer." Or "Storyline Maven." Or "Chaos Theoretician/Lover of Fractals."

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I suppose I can take solace in the fact that, despite Triple H and Steph's back and forth tactics, the crowd's still booing them. You can always count on wrestling crowds to boo the f*** out of people regardless of whether they're going out of their way to tell the truth. And you can always count on Chicago to be a hot enough crowd to resoundingly boo the mere mention of the WWE App. Man, that thing had "Vicki heat" last night. Maybe they're all just angry because they don't know how to download it. Or maybe they've been waiting for specific intrusions for how to download the app on an ANDROID DEVICE! My god. How could the WWE have left out those with Samsung Galaxys for so long?! Luckily, last night, there was hope. Lawler was there in a pinch to save the day so that Droid owners could now vote for "who should get thrashed by Orton."

Anyhow, The Shield lost the big match, but not before eliminating, like, seven of the eleven guys. Getting them even more over than usual. The Shield's tide may have ebbed and flowed over the past few months, but their stock has risen again with the new "Best for Business" angle. And I don't mind one bit. I know a few of you guys are sick of them, but I'm not. It might be a good idea for them to drop some of those belts soon, but I still look forward to every match they're in. They've constantly remained one of the most exciting parts of 2013 for me.

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Paul Heyman on a Rascal, Goldust and Cody attack, and more on Page 2...


Source : ign[dot]com

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