So I've got bad news, worse news, then some horrible news followed by some great news. The bad news is that during last Tuesday's Smackdown taping, Jack Swagger kicked World Heavyweight Champion Dolph Ziggler in the face and gave him a serious concussion.
Then came dire reports that Dolph didn't even remember last Monday or Tuesday and was suffering from "retrograde amnesia."
Then it came to pass that Ziggler wouldn't even be wrestling at Extreme Rules and the the three-way Ladder Match had been changed to an "I Quit" Match between Del Rio and Swagger.
The great news? Ziggler stayed home last night and live-tweeted RAW, managing to steal the f***ing show while not even being ON THE SHOW!
I am tempted - SO SO TEMPTED - to just fill this Wrap Up with Ziggler's tweets and be done with it. Because they're far more entertaining than anything I'm prepared to deliver. The best part of them, aside from their hefty hilariousness, is that they managed to assuage all our fears a little bit. Ziggler acting goofy made the whole situation a bit less dour, since the first thing that went through my mind when I'd heard the news about the concussion was whether or not it was so serious that he'd be done in the ring for good. We all just want him to be healthy, first and foremost. Then the second stage of grief involved how s***ty the timing was here given that he'd just finally won the WHC a month ago and was preparing for his first PPV title defense.
Now, this still could be very serious, I'm not denying that. Ziggler's jokes and japes could just be him being him. IT'S WHAT HE DO, ya know? And not everyone tweets or follows Twitter while they watch RAW, but dammit, he sure acted like a guy who wanted to make his presence felt. Like he knew he'd be back soon enough and didn't want to be left out of the mix. That's just my take. And my take made me feel better, so my take is awesome. Anyhow, the question remains: How do we get Ziggler, AJ and Big E. to do nothing but tweet awesome things to one another for the rest of out lives? Why can't they just be the "social media ambassadors" for the WWE? I know it defeats the purpose of that initiative, but the purpose is dumb so it deserves to be defeated.
The other sign that things might turn out okay is the fact that, so far, they've chosen not to strip Ziggler of the title, perhaps giving him the extra grace period for title defenses that they gave CM Punk last fall when he had knee surgery. It's tricky, because you want there to be "rules" in the wrestling world to create storyline continuity, but you also want the guys you like to get a break whenever possible. And since the "30-day title defense rule" is pretty much just a unicorn bouncing on a cloud, it can be rejiggered however feels right. Some will complain though. Normally I would, in fact. But I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. I guess I just miss my friend...
SEE! I got nothin'. Thank god he didn't tweet any effin' cat gifs or I'd be out of a job.
Anyhow, I'm mentioning Ziggler's tweets a lot because A: they made my sack tingle and B: they kind of saved last night's RAW. Because aside from the Shield match, the whole thing was a bit of a wash. Sure, it's kind of fun to see Triple H and Brock hit each other for a few minutes before Brock retreats, but we've already seen that "go home" segment twice - right before their last two PPV matches. It's always Heyman telling Hunter that Brock won't fight and then Brock fights. I'm telling you though, they've pretty much promised torn skin and broken bones with this cage match a dozen times already, so if these two wind up leaving Extreme Rules in something other than full body casts, I'd say we're in line for a refund. We won't get one, but we can wait in line.
Actually, to be fair, I thought the opening Dance Off came off pretty good, considering there never wound up being a Dance Off and it just turned into a devious sneak attack. Fandango's dancey dance girl, Summer, pulled a heel turn (literally) and faked a hurt ankle. The question is though, is she now his permanent heel partner? The brunette chick was supposed to be the main gal, but she's can only show up when her college schedule allows it. Because she's all into, like, learning and s*** and not riding around with a traveling carnival of egomaniacal psychopaths. Wouldn't it be funny if she was majoring in pizza tracking?
Also...they brought in Jericho's esteemed partner, that fancy Edyta Sliwinska girl, for nothing? And made me figure out how to type her name just now?
More from RAW, including Big E., AJ's new hold and a new way to watch television on page 2...
Source : ign[dot]com
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