Quite an eventful RAW, ay?
No, not just because Highhair McWooWoo got to be on camera multiple times. Daniel Bryan got stripped of the WWE title that he won the previous night at the PPV, cementing his status as the company's top babyface. And Triple H cemented his status as, um, the "guy who might be the villain but then acts uncharacteristically reasonable, sometimes good." Because the entire first fifteen minutes of Night of Champions was Triple H getting booed for one minute, and then getting cheered for fourteen. Because he deemed that Bryan vs. Orton be a no-interference match and then rejected Heyman's plea to weasel out of his match with Punk. So yeah. Classic case of Triple H wanting to be everything to everyone. Just in time for the release his career retrospective DVD set, "Triple H: He Gets Like That Sometimes."
"Eventful" is a good word, right? Easy enough to say. Hyperbolic calls have been the name of the game in wrestling for generations, but from this point forward, Jerry Lawler, the man who had a massive heart attack on live TV, is banned from saying that something he sees is either A: "The worst thing he's ever seen," B: "The weirdest thing he's ever witnessed," or C: "The craziest thing he's ever been a part of." Because not only have we all seen wrestling-realted things in the past that trump the current TV product in terms of extremes, but the man experienced a real life trauma that can now easily fill any and all superlative-ranking categories.
But speaking to the latest thing Lawler declared to be the worst thing/best thing/wackiest he's ever beheld with his eyes and ears, Daniel Bryan beat Orton at Night of Champions, but then got stripped of the title on RAW because Scott Armstrong counted fast. Not super fast, but fast. By enough of a pastrami-thin margin that Triple H had to actively bring up Armstrong's usual count cadence and then play clips side by side. That's right, RAW got into some deep s*** about measuring the balance of an individual's personal rhythmic flow. Bill Nye would weep tears of secreted ocular lubrication.
But then there's Triple H again, refusing to play the true villain. Is Steph secretly behind all this? Is she the true heel we should be paying attention too? She seems to be the one who has no problems getting full heat. Because someone's behind the fast count and it's not Bryan, right?
Anyhow, Triple H, didn't erase Bryan's win from the record books, or nullify the match in any way. Instead of giving the belt back to Orton, he vacated the title. Hunter Heart Rational strikes again. People wondered how Mayweather could win with Bieber in his corner, but that's only because the mainstream media didn't bring up Hunter being there too. And him having "+10 Burying" abilities.
Speaking of abilities, I'll tell you who the next person to die in that ring will be. Freakin' Seth Rollins.
If he and Ziggler ever faced each other on one one it would easily resemble my old toy bin filled with broken and bent action figures.
By the end of the night, the entire locker room had emptied out to save Bryan from getting his neck cranked by Orton and The Shield. An injury that Orton, having been egged on by Steph ("What happened to the sick bastard who gave me a DDT?"), had afflicted on Miz earlier in the night. Not sure why Miz is getting taken off TV, but there's a rumor that his run as a face is over. So maybe he'll take a few weeks off and return as the heel character he was built to play.
MIZ'S DAD THO.
Not only were we treated to Miz getting thrashed in his hometown (a time-honored WWE tradition), but we got treated to the majestic wonders of Miz Sr! What a rough charcoal sketch of a man he is. That was amazing. Wasn't he killed off on Sons of Anarchy a few seasons back?
The man's like a melted-candle version of The Miz, but with more misplaced confidence. Oh, and remember how he's totally racist? Years ago, on Real World: Back in New York, Miz was all prejudiced and wrong about minorities because his dad raised him to be a bigot. Wow. Delicious. I wonder what he made of Orton's deep tan. It must have been bewildering.
Oh, and the pièce de résistance? The man's Twitter profile...
I don't know what could possibly be "self-explanatory" about any of this, but it 100% screams "rape van." Anyone who leads off anything with the term "entrepreneur" should be immediately backed away from. Slowly. With your hands in the air to show that you mean no threat to their habitat, brood, or food source.
Big Show knocks out Dusty, plus I make my Total Divas debut, on Page 2...
Source : ign[dot]com