Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Wrestling Wrap Up: New Stable - The Shield!

You guys...

The Shield!

The Shield is us, you guys!

The Shield...*whispers* is us.

Wait, Dean Ambrose. Don't be so dismissive. Hear me out...

Look, I know I'm probably over-selling this new stable to myself, but...they stand against UNJUST BOOKING! They hate that wrestling is a popularity contest! They don't feel like the SAME GUYS SHOULD GET TITLE SHOTS OVER AND OVER! We're all looking in a mirror, people.

Fine. Whatever. I'm probably getting all worked up for nothing. You're right. But so far, Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns are pretty fantastic. And they're attacking the right people for the right reasons. They've been the fists and boots that internet has never had. They dress in black. They're not ever going to be appreciated by the fans from the unseen evils they're protecting the masses from. They're pretty much the Night's Watch of the WWE. They are the flippin' watchers on the wall!  In fact, if they all took vow of celibacy, that would be pretty effin' incredible. But they won't. Because if you actually go on the world wide web, you'll see...the womenfolk loves these guys! Yes, huge girl boners everywhere for these three.

It's as if CM Punk was a feisty Mogwai and someone accidentally splashed him with three droplets of tap water. Now, what most likely happened at the end of RAW was that The Shield came down to attack Kane because they felt it was wrong for Punk to fight a guy that the fans voted into the Main Event. The popularity-averse Shield would hate that. But how awesome would it actually be if they came down do beat up Kane because...HE DIDN'T WIN THAT POLL!!!  Because that would be some diabolical nesting doll logic-police s*** that I don't think my brain could handle. Look, there's no way in Lindsay Lohan's vag that Kane beat Daniel Bryan in the RAWactive hashtag contest. I get that Bryan is sort of the heel of Team Hell No, but no one would ever vote for Kane over him when the reward is a match with Punk. And people kept tweeting me this Hashtag Battle Results Page all night, where it shows that Bryan is the clear winner.

Disclaimer: I don't know how accurate this is. I'm guessing "pretty."

A few weeks back, the RAWactive poll got called out for being a bunch of mulecrap when Miz won the spot on Foley's Survivor Series team. Especially because internet-favorite Zack Ryder was one of the picks. And also because...Miz HAD to be on Team Foley. That was the story. And so what if we HADN'T voted for Miz? There could be no margin for error here. And so while I have no idea if the WWE cheated, I'll just say that Miz had to be on Team Foley whether he won legitimately or not. So, really for the first time, the RAWactive poll seemed like utter doo-doo.

And now, once again, its merits are under question. I could be wrong here. That's totally always a possibility, guys (and Samantha). But think about what Cole has been saying over the past few weeks. Matthews too. "The WWE Universe has taken to calling Kofi Kingston 'The Wildcat.'" Over and over again, they say that the internet has deemed Kofi "The Wildcat."

NO ONE HAS EVER SAID THIS NEVER EVER NEVER!

The WWE wants Kofi to be known as the Wildcat, which is a dumb nickname for a guy who supposedly is all about "air" and "hang time" and whatnot. But now they want to put this on us. On the fans. They want to say that we have all come to a decision and that they can no longer ignore the passion and demands of the fans. They simply MUST call Kofi a "Wildcat" because the populous has decreed it so. It's out of their hands, everyone.

How in the hell would the WWE Universe ever develop a hive brain about something like "The Wildcat?" That would mean that either a ton of people would have had to independently come up with "Wildcat" on their own - enough people that the WWE noticed. Which is bottom barrel nonsense. Or it means that someone created the "Wildcat" moniker and enough people loved it that it spread like wildfire. Neither of these avenues are even remotely acceptable. So, what does this have to do with the poll? Well, it means that WWE is now perfectly fine with lying about social media for the sake of getting over the story they want to get over. And yes, what I'm talking about goes a bit further than just having their Superstars tweet mean things at one another. Because they're now f***ing with our input. They're now fudging fan reaction.

More from The Shield, CM Punk, Cena/AJ and more on page 2...


Source : ign[dot]com

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