Get this. Not all that much to address this week, but the show I really kind of want to write about the most is Smackdown. I KNOW! It was bonkers. But since RAW is more of the moment, I'll do it up first. Do it up right. So how many people think Punk will return at Payback?
So they're actually advertising Punk vs. Jericho at Payback. Without storyline confirmation from Punk. Now the rumor is that when Punk returns it'll be as a face and that he might not be a "Paul Heyman guy" anymore. In fact, a Brock Lesnar feud is what the whispers tell me when I'm all along in the darkness. Which would ruin all our dreams of Heyman finally uniting his guys into one stable or team. So how will this happen?
Well, common sense says that the WWE can't advertise Punk in Chicago and then not have him show up. Right? I mean, that would be the pinnacle of chicanery. But, as much as it saddens me to admit, I can still see that totally happening. Perhaps Punk no-shows and Brock comes out and demolishes Jericho in a non-match. Which then leads to Punk's real return in a match against Brock later on.
But I'm probably just assuming the worst. I know that the WWE has been trying to get Punk back as soon as freakin' possible, but I just didn't think he'd return before he was ready. And he seemed to want to stay away a long time. In the best case scenario, Punk returns to face Jericho (and even before that to promote the match) and then they have a great match. There will have to be some sort of falling out between Punk and Paul though, with one turning on the other at some point. I think I'm just skeptical about Punk even showing up because, with Paul accepting the match for him, it feels like the WWE's putting the cart before the horse. As in, they're trying to will him back by having folks say his name on TV. And if the announcers actually start saying things like "Will Punk show up at Payback to face Jericho?" and make the question of Punk's appearance the story then we know it's fish four days old.
I don't know. RAW was weird. Aside from the Shield matches and the video for the Bray Wyatt's moonshine molesters, it was dull. It was still, in the end, a show that featured multiple recaps of a fake concussion while providing no updates on a real one. There was a big Bret Hart Appreciation Night after the show that you could see on the App (decent content for once?), but that wasn't officially part of the broadcast. I do appreciate Appreciation Nights, but I also always wind up thinking about the future. Who in the hell are we going to appreciate 20 years from now? So many guys are on the cusp of greatness. Always on the cusp. Cole, Lawler and JBL talk about how Kofi's most likely a future world champ. And Cody. So many of these guys are just forever, perpetually "almost there" and it drives me a little something something. I don't want to see Kofi fight for the U.S. of IC titles anymore. Either elevate these guys or get a whole new undercard. It's time for a purge. It's only now that guys are being brought up to massive pushes. Like The Shield and Ryback. Bray Wyatt's now on the rise, and will attempt to do better with the Waylon Mercy "Max Cady" gimmick than Dan Spivey did.
Also, HBK was there and no one asked him, on camera, about his wild hog hunt with JR? No one demanded copious details? All John Cena wanted to talk about was John Cena? Priorities = whacked! Murdering devil pigs with JR only comes about once in a lifetime! If that!
And speaking of foul forrest creatures, and also since it was pretty much the best part of RAW, let's talk about the Wyatt Family and how the very notion of getting a good night sleep now laughs at me from behind a dark curtain.
Yup, looks like Rob Zombie rebooted Glengarry Glen Ross.
Porch swings, broken fences, grasshoppers walking backwards, doll heads. It's like someone stole a peek at my Party City wish list. Graveyards, backwoods sex prayers, nursery rhymes, sweaty men with juices running down their unkempt beards. Did South Korea animate some poor woman's post-trauma testimony? I know a bunch of people are saying that it reminds them of Duck Dynasty, but does that show have a Southern cult leader vibe? I know it has beards. But it can't be just the beards, right? HBK has a beard now. Curt Axel and Matt Morgan have beards. Hell, Daniel Bryan has thatch.
But I don't know from Duck Dynasty. Do they drink curdled blood from jam jars? Do they make extraneous create furniture out of once-living things? I can't willfully bring myself to watch a show where it looks like the main characters would have to flip a coin in order to decide whether to f*** me or cook me.
But anyway, at least we'll now have a good excuse to book Hunter in another Hog Pen Match. I suspect these three will be the anti-Shield. No justice, no peace, and no women clamoring for them the take off their shirts.
Cena vs. Curt Axel, plus one crazy Smackdown, on page 2...
Source : ign[dot]com
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