Last week the Obama Administration, in a grand show of humor, responded to an online request to have the United States military build a Death Star. The online petition is a part of the administration’s citizen feedback initiative: We the People.
Essentially, constituents are invited to file petitions on WhiteHouse.gov, and when one reaches 25,000 signatures or more, the White House is required to respond. One such petition, “Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016" (not surprisingly) reached nearly 35,000 signatures. Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch of the White House Office of Management and Budget, responded with a Star Wars fancentric denial entitled: “This isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For."
He cited fiscal responsibility as the central concern, and prohibiting factor. A Death Star, it seems, would cost upwards of $850,000,000,000,000,000 to build. Shawcross went on to say, “The Administration does not support blowing up planets.”
A final, practical, nail in the coffin of our Death Star dreams was delivered when he slammed the Empire's tech, saying, “Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?”
Today, the Galactic Empire (via StarWars.com) has responded to, what they essentially refer to as, our global act of cowardice.
Palpatine, gloating.
You can read the full statement below:
IMPERIAL CENTER, CORUSCANT – The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again by the recent announcement by the President of the United States that his nation would not attempt to build a Death Star, despite the bellicose demands of the people of his tiny, aggressive planet. “It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire,“ said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. “Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.”
Representatives on behalf of the nation-state leader from the unimaginatively named planet refused to acknowledge the obvious cowardice of their choice, preferring instead to attribute the decision to fiscal responsibility. “The costs of construction they cited were ridiculously overestimated, though I suppose we must keep in mind that this miniscule planet does not have our massive means of production,” added Admiral Conan Motti of the Imperial Starfleet.
Emissaries of the Emperor also caution any seditious elements within the Galactic Senate not to believe Earth’s exaggerated claims of there being a weakness in the Death Star design. “Any attacks made upon such a station – should one ever be built – would be a useless gesture,” added Motti.
Roth Cornet is an Entertainment Editor for IGN. You can follow her on Twitter at@RothCornet and IGN at Roth-IGN.
Source : ign[dot]com
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